I'm in this bubble nobody will ever bother to burst.

I never really confided in anyone. Never really hid my emotions but I never really expressed myself either. Except on this blog.

Its true I'm happy at the moment when I'm with my friends but start to feel so empty and insecure when I'm alone. I hate the fact that I'M the one who's always the one missing out on everything, missing out on these trips they go for. Ever since we left school and I returned alone, I wasn't able to smile. I feel tired from looking sad but I can't seem to smile.

I don't know if I like being alone or not. When I feel secure I want time alone and would do anything to get away from the crowd. Now that I'm not, I detest the feeling of loneliness so much.

I really hate it when I'm always the one away from the rest and they're having so much fun without me. I don't understand why knowing I'm not the only one made me want to drown in all these feelings again. Maybe because I don't have to be strong anymore? Or what is it?